Movie Reviews

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'Salem's Lot (2024)

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Salem's Lot--Official Trailer • Max • YouTube

'Salem's NOT is a more appropriate title. This is the third and worst version(miniseries in 1979 and 2004) based on Stephen King's eponymous book. (There also is a 1997 sequel, Return to Salem's Lot.) This movie trashes vampire tropes. Most of the blame rests with the screenwriter/director Gary Dauberman (screenwriter for It, It Chapter 2, The Nun, and the Annabelle movies). The story is about a writer, Ben Mears (Lewis Pullman), returning to his childhood town of Jerusalem's lot and discovering that a vampire, Alex Barlow (Alexander Ward), is rapidly transforming the town's residents.

The movie was completed in June of 2022, shelved and almost scrapped-- but ultimately saved ostensibly by King's Instagram posts. King is not the best judge of cinema, referring to the masterpiece The Shining as a "maddening, perverse, and disappointing film."

Lewis Pullman (Ben Mears), who was excellent in Lessons in Chemistry, is awkward and appears embarrassed by the terrible script. Ditto for the ubiquitous Bill Camp (Presumed Innocent, American Rust, The Queen's Gambit) who plays the high school teacher Matt Burke. Makenzie Leigh (Susan Norton) is charismatic as Ben's love interest. Alfre Woodard (Dr. Cody) is wasted in a laughable role, injecting herself with a rabies vaccine to avoid becoming a vampire after being bitten--a new, atrocious trope.

The finale of the movie is dreadful. The vampires are sleeping in the trunks of cars in the local drive-in theatre. As the sun is beginning to set behind the screen, the makeshift coffins pop open and the bloodsuckers rise. High school student, Mark (Jordan Preston Carter), in a pick-up truck runs over the supports of the screen, knocking it down and exposing the not-fully-set sun which kills the vampires. Car trunks are not totally light proof, vampires are too smart to rise unless the sun has fully set and people should stay away from this movie.

Max • R • 1hr. 13 min. • 1 min. read